A Letter To Spoonies During The COVID-19 / Coronavirus Pandemic: Anger
To my fellow spoonies, all those living with chronic and/or invisible diseases...
I know I’m not the only one feeling this way and if you’ve been feeling it too, I hear you, I feel you, you are justified in feeling what you’re feeling. It can be hard to express this because of possible backlash or misunderstanding, but the ones who matter will understand.
I see your anger, frustration, and resentment with what’s happening in the world today as a result of this pandemic.
Long before this, you’ve had to live in isolation. Social distancing is nothing new and foreign to you.
You’re watching people lament about having to stay home for a temporary period when that freedom was taken from you long ago, with no end in sight, with serious chronic illness wrecking your body on top of it all.
You’re witnessing businesses make the allowances to work remotely when instead of trying to accommodate your needs, they fired you, wouldn’t hire you, and fought against your disability claims.
You’re swallowing the bitter pill as you watch medical offices only NOW permit phone and virtual appointments that you fought so hard for but were denied all this time.
You’re seeing the same healthy people who told you to try yoga, put a smile on your face, and be positive (because, of course, those are the cures to incurable diseases) who are now panicking about getting sick. Will yoga save them now?
People are now showing outrage over health-care and government systems that are broken and depressingly unhelpful, while you’ve been suffering at the hands of these broken systems for so long.
From the rooms in which you’ve been alone and forgotten, you’re observing people unite in virtual gatherings when none of that effort was made to keep you included, because when it wasn’t their own health being impacted, they didn’t care to look outside themselves.
Do not lose yourself in only anger, my friends, but it is okay to be feeling it. You are entitled to this much. Honour it, hold space for it, be gentle with yourself through it. Breathe. And then look for the light again. ✨
With love & light,
Christina
Note: It is not my intention, with this post, to assign blame or cause divide because neither will achieve anything constructive. These words are purely to give a voice to what many are feeling, especially those who are struggling to articulate these feelings for themselves.
While I believe this is a time to foster unity, empathy, compassion, understanding, and awareness, I also acknowledge how difficult it is to observe how many people in the world are responding to this pandemic. It's hard to stomach the complaints and despair about healthy people having to stay home when, as of writing this, it's only been a few days; I also know it's hard to watch the "post-quarantine-bucket lists" that are beginning to flood the internet with all the fun things people are going to do once this is over.
For many of us, nothing will change in that regard. We will not miraculously be able to go to concerts, fly to tropical destinations, return to work, and hit every bar and restaurant in town. No, we will remain in what the world is calling "quarantine", but for us, this life of illness behind closed doors in isolation is just normal life.
If you are reading this and it resonates with you, I hope that it brings you solace from seeing that you are not alone in this. You could easily go to where I posted this letter on The Mighty and see in the comment section how many are feeling this way too.
If you are someone who doesn't understand these sentiments because you've never experienced life as one of the chronically ill, I hope it sparks some compassion in you and ignites a resolution for you to become an ally that helps advocate for these human rights that we should have gotten all along.