Helping Someone Could Help You Cope With A Depressive Episode

Depression and I go way back. All the way back to high school. For years I knew something was wrong with me but I didn't know what, until I was finally diagnosed with Major Depression around 2007 after essentially dropping out of my first year of undergrad at UBC because my mental illness had gotten to such a severe stage.

To say that grappling with depression and finding my way back to mental wellbeing has been a challenging, tumultuous journey would be an understatement. After working with a psychiatrist, psychologist, taking anti-depressants, and working extensively on myself, I managed to come out of my state of depression. Let's call it remission. There was a reprieve for years until 2014 when I had my Big (health) Crash and my body went haywire with the complex, chronic disease, Central Sensitivity Syndrome. Having my life changed so drastically overnight and becoming so debilitatingly sick catapulted me back into a deep depression, which was also compounded by grief over losing the life I had known.

I share this very brief, surface-level introduction into my connection with depression to let you know that I am someone who really does understand what it is like to be depressed, to the point of wanting to end my own life at times. So when I share with you a suggestion for how to cope with a depressive episode, I hope you know that it's not coming from a place of ignorance, but from a place of genuinely hoping that I can help someone else out by openly sharing about the many different things I have tried (and continue to try) to support my mental health.

October or November 2019 was when I recognized that my mental health status had changed and that I had, in fact, returned to being depressed. I don't know when I started to slip back down and I don't know for how long it was happening. My past experience has made me very vigilant about keeping tabs on my mental health but somehow, this time, I suppose with the craziness of 2018 and 2019, I didn't clue in to the warning signs. I was just suddenly there, back in the middle of depression land.

Thankfully, I caught on at a point when this current episode was a lot milder than previous ones and I immediately went into "okay-I'm-depressed-I-can't-change-that-but-now-that-I'm-here-and-aware-I-need-to-start-taking-action" mode.

I will write another blog post (soon hopefully) about the various strategies I've implemented but in this one, I want to touch on just one idea that came to me a few days ago:

As hard as it is to find the motivation to act during a depressive episode, taking action to help someone else or support someone else may have the potential to help you cope with depression by giving you a bit of a mood boost.

Here's the story behind the thought:

Someone I know asked me for advice on how she should prepare for her intake call with the nurse from the Complex Chronic Diseases Program at BC Women's Hospital. It would have been too much to text her back (typing on my phone is painful) so I decided to turn my response into a blog post to share with her, and also to just have as a resource that I could share with anyone else who might end up asking me the same thing.

It ocurred to me that if she was asking me, perhaps there were others also needing similar guidance so I shared this blog post in two Canadian support groups on Facebook, one for Myalgic Encephalomyelitis and one for Fibromyalgia. I had zero expectations of anyone seeing, reading, or responding to my post. I simply put it out there in the off chance that it might help one other person.

I was taken aback when several people ended up commenting on my post, thanking me for my recommendations and letting me know that my blog post was a valuable resource for them that they would be using to help them prepare for their own in-take appointments!

The next day, when I was sitting in the shower, my thoughts wandered to this positive feedback I'd received the day prior and I noticed that my mood felt more uplifted than it had in a long time. In fact, one thing I've been dealing with is a general lack of positive affect so this was the first thing that seemed to pierce that barrier and allow me to feel something positive. I think it amazed me that something I had invested my time and energy into would be used be real people and actually have a positive impact in their life. Sure, in a small way. But if it meant that they would be able to make better use of that appointment or feel less overwhelmed and stressed by it, then that meant a lot to me.

That's when the thought bubbled up in my brain: maybe doing generous work in the service of others could be an effective tool in my arsenal of strategies for managing my own depression. And maybe, if it works for me, it might help someone else too.

So that is my suggestion for you today, friend. If you have been struggling with depression, perhaps give this a try. Do something to support someone else, especially if it results in you receiving some kind of positive reinforcement (such as getting verbal/written feedback that confirms you did something beneficial).

I am by no means saying that this will "cure" you of your depression. Absolutely not! If you are depressed, please seek the help of a professional.

What I am saying is that as someone who has years of experience dealing with depression, it is important to keep trying different strategies that can help you cope with it so that you're not just free-falling deeper and deeper into the darkness.

To a certain extent, in some cases, we have the power to exert influence over our own minds and change the trajectory it's on.

If writing a blog post isn't up your alley, look for other things you can do like helping a friend or family member, donating blood, volunteering, or signing up as an organ donor (just a few things off the top of my head - I'm pretty tired right now so the creative juices aren't flowing as well!).

I hope this helps, please reach out to me if you need some support or further guidance.

With love & light,

Christina