A Spoonie's Thoughts on Mother's Day
A new thought crossed
my mind.
It was never there before.
Where it came from
I don’t know.
What it means for me
I don’t know.
“Will I ever be a mother?”
I did not want this question.
“Will I ever have my own Mother’s Day?”
I did not want this question either.
Because I don’t know
if this body will ever be able
to grow a child
without it breaking me.
I don’t know if this body will
ever be able to raise a child
in a way that is best for that child
...without it breaking me.
I just don’t know.
There are no answers here.
No one alive can know the answer.
For this game of chronic disease
is a fucking game of
Wait and See.